- Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
- [Class titters]
- Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
- [Laughter increases]
- Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
- [Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]
Sleep tries to seduce me by promising a more reasonable tomorrow.
Second grade, Mrs. McCoy’s classroom. I doubt you remember this, but I do. We went around the room and we all said what we wanted to be when we grew up.
- grandma: DO YOU WANT AN APPLE
- me: no thanks grandma
- grandma: HERES YOUR APPLE